It’s been a while since I last posted and I shared a little update on my Instagram page. If you’ve been following me now for a while and read my posts you know that I’ve been trying to find the balance and ways to work on myself to be better. By “better,” I mean for myself and my daughter. And by that, I mean, breaking bad habits, finding anxiety relief, and just trying to find myself.
It’s been a daunting process and really it hasn’t been easy. It’s been a difficult road to self-discovery, self-love, and self-care. Finding myself true to my roots, without lying to myself about things. It really is something that is both exciting and frightening.
I’ve been becoming vocal about my needs for myself, and vocal about anything.
In the road to discovery, I have come across many difficult situations and decisions about where my life is and where my life is headed. It’s very easy to imagine yourself where you want to be at any given time of life. And if you’re like myself and don’t know this I am very much a planner for my life. (Side note: I’m a planner, but a very disorganized one). By all means, I play to the terms of life because I cannot control where my life is headed, but I like to think that my life is headed in a particular direction.
I like to always have a backup plan to literally anything that could go wrong and will go wrong. However, behind that mentality there I found one of my biggest anxiety triggers. Control. Not being to dictate where and what to do and when things went unplanned I found myself very anxious and frustrated by things not going as planned. Honestly, that there alone is my biggest most overwhelming bad habit. So, what should one do to get over that you ask? I don’t have the biggest reveal or shocking discovery in terms of discovering on how to break that habit other than… You guessed it! Changing your mentality on things like that. I was so busy at the moment when things didn’t go as planned that I didn’t know how to be literally there. I wasn’t enjoying the time I was living and just frustrated at things that are seemingly pointless.
Why focus on things that don’t matter and waste your time?
Okay, now let me share another thing I’ve been working on. If you’re friends with me on social media you’ll notice that I no longer am on Facebook!
Victory, here’s why…
I found myself every single day spending a lot of my time on Facebook, sometimes there wasn’t anything new so I would just keep refreshing my timeline looking for something new to pop-up. I would find every excuse to not delete it or deactivate it such as all my friends are on there, the only way I keep in touch with my family, sharing my photos, my old post memories, etc…
Can you believe it? I was holding onto memories from my virtual past. Things that I couldn’t physically touch, feel, hear, or smell. I didn’t think twice about it. At first, I was going to just deactivate it for a few weeks and I realized. Well, I don’t really need to because when I go back I’ll just fall into the bad habit of spending all my time on there for no reason.
I’m here now. Writing. And guess what!? I have the most creative stories to tell. My mind feels less burdened with the need to be spending so much time on social media as I used too. And while it may seem very contradictive that I’m writing to you on the internet I want to say that. No, the internet is not a bad thing. For it has brought a lot of knowledge to many of us. Showed us many new things, and keeps us all connected through the words and stories we share.
However, the darker side to it is that if you’re like me. You just spend too much time not doing anything productive some days and I just wanted to get out of that bad habit. To actually do something productive and be able to share the things I do love with others. I hope you find my words both encouraging and entertaining because writing is what I love to do best and it has taken me so long to finally feel like I can write to share a story rather than to write and bullshit you about things I don’t really care about other than for the minute. So please! If you haven’t already! Follow me for more exciting stories or words from myself. I want to share so much more!
Now! Tell me what habits are you trying to break?