Friday the 13th

Hello friend,
I’m still here. I hope you are well.
It’s always busy for me, the days go by so fast even though the new weeks feel so far away.
I’m anxious though, usually when life goes by so fast I don’t get a chance to think about the things that go on around me. I usually take the day as it comes and always make the best out of it. I’m just sharing my feelings today, nothing exciting.

Lately, though, I have been feeling extremely anxious. Could it be that spooky unlucky Friday the 13th kind of ordeal? I’m superstitious, though, I think this one is on me.

I write because it calms me and I become inspired so I wanted to tackle that spooky feeling off of me. Anxiety is spooky and really unhelpful if it falls on this day. I guess I may be unlucky? haha.

In all seriousness, I am anxious and it has been building up lately in my life. I’m anxious because I feel like I am trapped in my current state of life. Even though I work hard to move up in life I see no change. They say work hard and success follows. Never give up on yourself. Try harder. Be persistent. Push. And that is what I always do.

Except today, anxiety got the better of me and I let it consume me whole. And it is hard when you are fighting it daily, but I let it take me to a place I hate to be. I become physically exhausted for no apparent reason except because I allow worry to be only on my mind.

What am I worried about?

I am worried about not being in the place I want to be. Not having a better job, more opportunity, and not having the ability to provide for my family. And I cannot control life. My path is going somewhere I just have to remind myself to be patient and believe in myself.

Worrying about what I cannot control is useless.

The reality is that anxiety sucks and when you get sucked into it, it’s hard to get out sometimes. I wish I had the answers for getting rid of anxiety, but sometimes its best to just get up and go for a walk.

Just know, if you read this far, you’re not alone. Just because you feel like your life isn’t going anywhere doesn’t mean you are the only one. There are so many people who feel like you do and it’s okay to be a little sad, just try to remind yourself to not let it get the best of you. Tomorrow will be a better day, but you have the power to make that happen.

Drowning in our sorrows sucks the beauty of life. It’s not easy, but please a reminder you are not alone.

-Z

Stressed Out

Hello friend,

Happy May 1st!
I cannot believe that we already are in May. The days keep passing by so quickly.
I hope it’s going well.

I’m writing a short post today.

It definitely has been a hasty year thus far. I have to remind myself to take a deep breath more than usual these days. Never did I realize that life would be making me feel so stressed out. While in school I always figured that stuff would get better. Always looking at the bright side right? It’s good to be optimistic about life and how you’re going to be.

And it’s also okay to not be.

Stress has been consuming me. Sometimes I feel like I’m stressing myself out for not being where I want to be in life. Not achieving my goals and not being able to get the things I need. I’m feeling restrained from being successful and doing more.

Not only do I feel stressed, it’s also taking a toll on my health. I’m feeling more tired than usual, feeling anxious, and not being able to sleep most nights.

I’ll lay in bed dose off for a bit and immediately wake up. And just when I feel like I could get a good night rest I feel more exhausted.

Self Care:

  • When I’m feeling like I can’t breathe I try to remind myself to relax.
  • Ask myself if whatever it is worth making you feel sick.
  • Go for a walk.
  • Breathe.
  • Sit.
  • Do nothing. Whatever I can to make myself feel better.

Life has been a little chaotic and I’m trying to be more proactive to my writing. I’m just always making excuses to not continue my work.

I must I remind myself. Life is too short. Don’t stay mad at silly things. Focus on yourself.

Until then, take care.

-Z