Life of Z: Week 2

Hello!
This week is extraordinary out of my comfort zone. I usually don’t tend to go out much because I get anxious or simply don’t want to go out. However, I started a new job and that pushed me to get out of my zone a bit. I am a bus commuter so it was interesting to take a couple buses just to get to work on time. Anyhow, this week(end) was very anticipated for daughter and myself. I hosted her first Halloween party.

Through all the running around from store to store; here are some photos I was able to capture…. haha oops.

Party Ready!
Setting up for the Party!
Sunday Breakfast at IHOP and we tried Morticia’s Haunted Hot Chocolate… Looks like spooky goop lol

Week 3 starts tomorrow…
Please let me know how your weeks are going~~~
Take care, XOXO
Z

Life of Z: Week 1

Hey there!
I hope you are doing well! You could call me the queen of procrastination because I never write, or put it aside… haha well. I just keep getting caught up in my life. My anxiety and always making excuses for myself. Like I just want to live and enjoy.

The other day I posted a photo of myself for World Mental Health Day, because I know there are a lot of people out there who suffer. Quietly, too. I am for sure one of those people. In this photo I captured myself feeling happy. And I try to look at it when I am feeling all anxious and unhappy.

So I wanted to try something new. I am the type of person to try many things in hopes of finding peace with my anxiety and hoping to find happiness along the way. I want to capture my everyday life with a photo. Whether it is of myself or something that makes me smile. I want to be more proactive for myself, to remind myself to be happy and enjoy life.

So here’s my first week, with just few photos.

Michelle being all cute at the pumpkin patch!
A photo of me taken by my daughter

I look forward to doing this!
Take care, XOXO

Overcoming Fears

Hello!
I hope you’re doing well. I can’t believe that June is almost over, summer in SOCAL has been gloomy and honestly, nice. I guess I’m one of those people who thrives in cold weather or cool weather (INSERT SUNGLASSES EMOJI). Haha, just kidding, we are all cool.

So, anxiety has been manageable and luckily enough I really have been feeling great these days. I know I sound repetitive, but it’s a method I use to remind myself that all things in life are doable, manageable. About a year or two ago I remember being so stuck in this dark cloud and found no joy in anything. I was scared to even go out for a while and my anxiety would not let me live. This past month I gave myself doable intentions.

I kept reminding myself to LIVE and enjoy + embrace the things that came along. Sure, there are hundreds of reasons to panic, but I didn’t allow myself to fall victim to my own enemies. So here’s what I did.

I Learned to Swim

I’m one of those adult kids who never learned to swim. Scratch that, I’m one of those adult kids who is was afraid to swim in the water. Something so natural that should instantly kick into gear when you jump in a pool right? I can’t remember exactly when this fear began, but I was at least 13 years old and I really wanted to swim. I was just so afraid. I do remember that a lot of it had to do with my own insecurities and my anxiety telling me I couldn’t do it.

Here’s the thing though, it’s not true. If I truly believed in myself I knew I could over come this fear. And, I did.

As I visited my aunt who has a nice pool in her backyard this past weekend, I glanced over at her pool as I always did when I came to visit. It was as if the pool, the water called for me. Yet, every single time I found an excuse to not get in. Not this time. While part of me still said, “no you can’t swim.” The other half, logical, said, “get in, don’t think about it and just do it.”

I stepped in, feet first, “it’s so cold” I told myself. And then I went all in. I was still in the shallow part of the pool so I can stand up completely. I got used to the temperature and then I started thinking about all the videos and things I’ve read on how to swim. Head up, push myself off the ground, move my legs and arms. Before you know it, I was doing it. I was swimming. I was a little scared naturally, but I kept doing it until I was tired.

Honestly, I know I still need more practice, but I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Sure, it was just learning to swim, but there is such a larger and deeper meaning to all of this. I am at a place where I feel confident in myself. I know I can do things and I’m not afraid to do them. When I felt like I was sinking a little bit, I pushed myself up as I always do when something in life brings me down. This was simply a physical representation of how much of a better place I am at with myself.

I’m not afraid to be me, I’m not afraid of my insecurities. I am capable of anything, just as you and everyone else is. Life will always come with its overbearing, tiresome, and difficult times. Though we must all sought out the good in things. We must let ourselves live. And we may surprise ourselves with things we didn’t already know…..

XOXO,
Zayra

June 2019

HELLO JUNE!!!
How are you friends? Are you still there? It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote about something or have made something to share with the web. I’ve been a been under the weather. I was going through some crazy health issues and was really in a place that I hate to be in.

I relapsed. I let myself fall into that dark place. I let all the bad consume me whole. All of light turned grey and all of joy was lost. I started to feel the comfort behind it. I suddenly became a passenger to my anxiety, letting it take control of what I would do and how I would feel. Like an addict I didn’t feel life. I didn’t allow myself to live as I try to do.

But, I’m here, I’m back. I’m feeling better and I want to get to work on the things I love the most. I want to write. I want to inspire. And I want to cook all the food I can.

Hello Summer

I’m so glad that summer is arriving, while I don’t love the heat I do enjoy spending the day out, going on mini trips, having BBQ’s, and spend the time with my friends and family. While my budget is limited, I do want to have fun with my daughter. And most of all, I want to enjoy LIFE.

My June intentions are:

  • Exercise & EAT
  • Enjoy the outdoors [WALK, RUN, JUMP, BREATHE, GO TO THE BEACH]
  • Most of all LIVE, don’t allow anxiety to take over.
  • Take Lots of pictures!!!

And if you’ve read this far, you enjoy all of this too. I will write to you soon!!

XOXO
Zayra (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Love and Health

Hello!
I hope it’s been good for you. January was neverending and much busier than the holidays! I didn’t know that was possible.

Welcome to February where the flowers beging to bloom, the air and seasons are Changing rapidly and there’s love in the air!

Last year I wrote a post about how love should be celebrated everyday and not specifically for one day! I still believe that we should love one another and spread the love every day we live.

Spread love for someone special, a loved one, but mostly love for yourself. As 2018 was quickly ending I made it a goal for myself to love myself, learn healthier habits, and simply grow as a person. I’m not going to lie, it’s been difficult. Its not a mathematical problem where you spend some time and figure it out but it’s more than just numbers. It take days, weeks, and even months to get to a place where you want to be. However, it takes sacrifice and hard work to achieve success or even a personal goal.

My ultimate goal for the new year is to lose weight and be a healthier version of myself physically and mentally. So I have been trying a different approach to it and not looking at it as if there’s an end game or goal weight. I believe that diets are so absurd and sometimes very unhealthy. And with my experience in the past I found that they’re mostly temporary. Instead, my goal is to look at this goal in another way and just work on the foundation to being healthy.

Since the new year began I have been keeping track of my steps on a fitness watch. Walking around everywhere and finding a reason to be on my feet other than when I’m at work! I stated that having a dog is really awesome because you can just take them for a walk, but really you’re walking yourself haha..

My biggest struggle is food.

I love to eat. I live for it. I love cooking and baking and man I have a huge sweet tooth. Truly the biggest thing in the way of being healthy is the way I handle food and my relationship with it.
Either I overeat in one sitting or eat so little that I’ll eat badly later on in the day. It’s often hard to find an in between and balance. I have found that planning ahead is a huge deal.

Though, sometimes, you just need to be strict on yourself. I need to take care of my self and care about what I use to fuel my body. It’s hard, but I will work on being better at it. Strict doesn’t necessarily mean to be hard on yourself. Since February is the month of love you need to appreciate yourself and mainly take care of yourself. Build a loving relationship with the person you are and the person you want to be. Build a relationship that is loving in the end with the way you see food.

Until then,
Much love.
-zayra

Creativity

Hello, my friends,

I hope you’re doing well! I definitely have been caught up with life and getting sidetracked from creativity.

In my last post, I told you my intentions for the month of November and I have been challenging myself to keep myself working on them. It has been a challenging task to get myself to do the assignments that I make for myself… Let me tell you why though.

During the month of October, I was struck with an opportunity to write. This opportunity arrived when I was struck by creativity. You know that imagination, ideas or whatever you want. The ideas for writing purposely arrived in me. And I had to catch them. I envision this moment as I am writing on paper like a butterfly catcher with a net. Except. I was catching words onto my notebook. They were words for my blog and words for my idea book. I felt like I was on fire and I needed to catch them all. I needed to write word for word onto my notebook. And the ideas and creativity would not stop for one moment. I would find myself in the shower and BOOM… Creativity was right there.

Here is the thing about creativity though, it simply does not wait around for you to decide when it is the best time to welcome it. It comes and then it goes.

As Elizabeth Gilbert writes in Big Magic, “If inspiration is allowed to unexpectedly enter you, it is also allowed to unexpectedly exit you.”

That is what happened. I was riding creativity like a horse sprinting through a meadow and then we were abruptly stopped when we lost a sense of direction. And ever since then, we have been lost. We are lost, but not in a bad way.

Today, however, I ran into creativity and inspiration. Which guided me through writing these words. Because I want them to keep coming to me so that I have wonderful stories to tell and that I could share the things I love to do with you.

When I started this blog I had the intention to share the good, bad, and in between. I want to always be candid and real because all we ever do on social media is pretend we are someone we are not.

If you have been following me for a while you know that my blog is always changing and that is because of myself. I am always changing, always trying to be a better person, always trying to learn something new, trying to find my own happiness and grow.

So if you are ever confused about what my blog is about it is of all the things I love, my stories, my life. Me.

 

Please, I hope you enjoy my stories and continue coming back to me. I have so much to share.

Love,

Zayra

XOXO

August Rush

 

Hey guys,

It’s definitely been a while since I last wrote on my blog. What can I say, I’m an awful writer. haha… Anyway, a little update to my current life.

I have been taking some time to myself to really figure out what I want with my life. For a long time while I was in college my whole mindset was study, work, and get it done. Now that I am finished with school I wanted to hit the pause button. I asked myself what I wanted to do and what am I going to do. For the past 5 to 6 years I have been working nonstop with school and jobs. I just felt burnt out.

I’m sure a lot of people will say “oh you had it easy,” or stuff like “you’re too young to complain about being tired.” Honestly, my whole life has been in a rush. Always on the go, always trying to find solutions to problems at home or in life. Always this or that. I could tell you hundreds of stories about why I feel the way I feel. In all seriousness, I’ve just been too serious about everything. I have not given myself the chance to stop and enjoy. Sometimes I wonder if I even know what enjoyment even means.

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In other news: Michelle has started going to preschool!

1stdayofschool.jpg

Let me tell you something. Mom’s you will cry when you drop off your child even if they do not cry. I remember dropping her off and staying with her for a while before it was time for me to let my little bird out of my nest for the day.

She was really excited and all I wanted to do was hold her so close to myself. I was holding back my tears as I was there with her. Then it was time. She went off to play with some kids and I walked back to my car. I sat there for about 20 minutes crying!!! I was wondering where my little baby has gone… She has grown up so fast and I could not believe she was already in school.

20150303_200735.jpg
Then

now.jpg
NOW!

Time really does fly when you are having fun. I cherish every day I have with her even when she is fighting with me. My baby will always be my baby!

Cheesy. Anyway, that’s all I have to say for today. Take care. Talk soon.

XOXO

Zayra