Life of Z: Week 1

Hey there!
I hope you are doing well! You could call me the queen of procrastination because I never write, or put it aside… haha well. I just keep getting caught up in my life. My anxiety and always making excuses for myself. Like I just want to live and enjoy.

The other day I posted a photo of myself for World Mental Health Day, because I know there are a lot of people out there who suffer. Quietly, too. I am for sure one of those people. In this photo I captured myself feeling happy. And I try to look at it when I am feeling all anxious and unhappy.

So I wanted to try something new. I am the type of person to try many things in hopes of finding peace with my anxiety and hoping to find happiness along the way. I want to capture my everyday life with a photo. Whether it is of myself or something that makes me smile. I want to be more proactive for myself, to remind myself to be happy and enjoy life.

So here’s my first week, with just few photos.

Michelle being all cute at the pumpkin patch!
A photo of me taken by my daughter

I look forward to doing this!
Take care, XOXO

When Anxiety Takes Over Your Life

Hello,
I hope you have been well.
March has finally arrived and Spring is right around the corner. So far, this year has been moving by so quickly. Even if I don’t realize it the last month came to an end very quickly.

I am very much looking forward to Spring and sunny days, and while I have been enjoying this lovely California rain I think it’s time for some light.

If you’ve been following me along for a while now you’ll know that I have terrible anxiety and have been able to manage it at most times. However, lately, these past few weeks I found myself anxious about everything. Anxious to the point of not being able to sleep for days.

There is really no explanation or reason for me to feel this way. Life has been good, yet, I can’t seem to find the joy in it. It’s really overwhelming, especially, when it puts your life on a pause.

Even though the days go by so quickly, the hours feel so long for me. I’ll try to find things to do that could make me feel better (i.e.: exercise, taking a bath/shower, watching funny shows.) And while those are only temporary mood boosters I keep finding myself constantly out of it. Worrying about nothing all the time. I’ll get lost in my own mind going through a spiral of thoughts that are never-ending and truly exhausting.

What’s wrong with me?

That’s the first thing that comes to me when I do this and allow for anxiety to make me feel so miserable and lost. It’s not that I am unhappy, but I am also not happy. If that makes any sense.

Anxiety just takes over my life as if it’s the boss of me. Demanding me to get upset at everything. Taking my creativity, getting rid of my passions, sucking the joy out of life. Anxiety is a monster who is prying on me. Waiting for me to have a weak moment so it can conquer my body.

Nothing is wrong with you!

Photo by Josephine Amalie Paysen on Unsplash

Just like this photo. Anxiety to me is like a storm that passes by. I know that once it has gone the sun will come out and will shed light on all beautiful things.

And so, I take my resolutions and goals I gave myself and do all the things that will help me be the best me.

Love and Health

Hello!
I hope it’s been good for you. January was neverending and much busier than the holidays! I didn’t know that was possible.

Welcome to February where the flowers beging to bloom, the air and seasons are Changing rapidly and there’s love in the air!

Last year I wrote a post about how love should be celebrated everyday and not specifically for one day! I still believe that we should love one another and spread the love every day we live.

Spread love for someone special, a loved one, but mostly love for yourself. As 2018 was quickly ending I made it a goal for myself to love myself, learn healthier habits, and simply grow as a person. I’m not going to lie, it’s been difficult. Its not a mathematical problem where you spend some time and figure it out but it’s more than just numbers. It take days, weeks, and even months to get to a place where you want to be. However, it takes sacrifice and hard work to achieve success or even a personal goal.

My ultimate goal for the new year is to lose weight and be a healthier version of myself physically and mentally. So I have been trying a different approach to it and not looking at it as if there’s an end game or goal weight. I believe that diets are so absurd and sometimes very unhealthy. And with my experience in the past I found that they’re mostly temporary. Instead, my goal is to look at this goal in another way and just work on the foundation to being healthy.

Since the new year began I have been keeping track of my steps on a fitness watch. Walking around everywhere and finding a reason to be on my feet other than when I’m at work! I stated that having a dog is really awesome because you can just take them for a walk, but really you’re walking yourself haha..

My biggest struggle is food.

I love to eat. I live for it. I love cooking and baking and man I have a huge sweet tooth. Truly the biggest thing in the way of being healthy is the way I handle food and my relationship with it.
Either I overeat in one sitting or eat so little that I’ll eat badly later on in the day. It’s often hard to find an in between and balance. I have found that planning ahead is a huge deal.

Though, sometimes, you just need to be strict on yourself. I need to take care of my self and care about what I use to fuel my body. It’s hard, but I will work on being better at it. Strict doesn’t necessarily mean to be hard on yourself. Since February is the month of love you need to appreciate yourself and mainly take care of yourself. Build a loving relationship with the person you are and the person you want to be. Build a relationship that is loving in the end with the way you see food.

Until then,
Much love.
-zayra

Why do resolutions fail? My plan to be the best me in the New Year!

Hey friends,
As the new year is slowly, but quickly approaching all I keep thinking about is #NewYearNewMe. It’s so crazy how we begin a brand new year full of hope and resolutions. Yet, we can’t seem to keep up with them.
According to an article on the Business Insider, “80% of people fail to stick to their New Year’s resolutions for longer than six weeks.” Many of them are about trying to obtain healthy exercise habits and being more physically active. Resolutions fail because we make all these unattainable goals for ourselves! We think that just because it’s a new year that we get to restart. Well, we aren’t that wrong. We just need to make these resolutions attainable and realistic!!!!

If you’re anything like me you have been trying for the longest to get fit, eat healthier, and just overall improve your health. But…… You are lacking the most important factor in keeping up with a routine. MOTIVATION!

I told myself at the beginning of the year that I was going to do it! I came into the year with a strong approach and quickly failed… Mainly because I went cold turkey with a lot of the things I ate and I just didn’t have the strong will-power I used too.

I find excuses to not do any exercise and it’s getting to the point where I’m just like yeah no excuse, I’m just lazy. I keep thinking back to when I was 17 years young and I was working out like crazy. I was so focused and motivated, but also, I had all of the time of the world.

Even though I had all the time of the world, I remember that my 17 year old self was up to something. I wasn’t only pushing myself out of my comfortable limit, I was trying to balance my health all together.

Something I remember was literally training yourself to eat better. It was as if I was a newborn baby learning to eat foods that are good for you and I introduced myself to many delicious vegetables and fruits. I always hated the taste of zucchini, onions, and dear goodness I didn’t know what flavor was! My palate was so bland and tasteless.
Training my new taste buds meant that I had to slowly get rid of sugars, bad carbs, and junk food. It was hard, but I did it!

#NewYearNewMe

My plan to become healthier:
1. Start getting rid of added sugars, bad carbs, junk food.
2. Create an exercise routine that is achievable and doable.
3. Make exercise fun, think of different ways to incorporate a walk, run, etc.
4. Don’t make yourself feel guilty if you have a cheat snack/meal.
5. Train your taste buds to like REAL food!
6. When you’re feeling lazy, go for a walk, or walk the dogs!

So far, I’m starting a bit early just to get that routine going! I’m trying to cut out sugar and I’m proud of myself because I now enjoy coffee without sugar! I do however add some liquid creamer… I’m working on that though! In the meanwhile, I am learning to eat smaller portions and mindfully enjoy my food. And if you have any suggestions, please send them my way!

XOXO,
Zayra!

Creativity

Hello, my friends,

I hope you’re doing well! I definitely have been caught up with life and getting sidetracked from creativity.

In my last post, I told you my intentions for the month of November and I have been challenging myself to keep myself working on them. It has been a challenging task to get myself to do the assignments that I make for myself… Let me tell you why though.

During the month of October, I was struck with an opportunity to write. This opportunity arrived when I was struck by creativity. You know that imagination, ideas or whatever you want. The ideas for writing purposely arrived in me. And I had to catch them. I envision this moment as I am writing on paper like a butterfly catcher with a net. Except. I was catching words onto my notebook. They were words for my blog and words for my idea book. I felt like I was on fire and I needed to catch them all. I needed to write word for word onto my notebook. And the ideas and creativity would not stop for one moment. I would find myself in the shower and BOOM… Creativity was right there.

Here is the thing about creativity though, it simply does not wait around for you to decide when it is the best time to welcome it. It comes and then it goes.

As Elizabeth Gilbert writes in Big Magic, “If inspiration is allowed to unexpectedly enter you, it is also allowed to unexpectedly exit you.”

That is what happened. I was riding creativity like a horse sprinting through a meadow and then we were abruptly stopped when we lost a sense of direction. And ever since then, we have been lost. We are lost, but not in a bad way.

Today, however, I ran into creativity and inspiration. Which guided me through writing these words. Because I want them to keep coming to me so that I have wonderful stories to tell and that I could share the things I love to do with you.

When I started this blog I had the intention to share the good, bad, and in between. I want to always be candid and real because all we ever do on social media is pretend we are someone we are not.

If you have been following me for a while you know that my blog is always changing and that is because of myself. I am always changing, always trying to be a better person, always trying to learn something new, trying to find my own happiness and grow.

So if you are ever confused about what my blog is about it is of all the things I love, my stories, my life. Me.

 

Please, I hope you enjoy my stories and continue coming back to me. I have so much to share.

Love,

Zayra

XOXO

November Intentions

Hello,

And I hope you are doing well today! Can you believe another month has passed us and we are much closer to the end of the year!

YIKES!!! eyes-312093_960_720.png

Last month I shared with you my first few intentions I wanted to do for myself and boy was that a journey! First off, I want to say that breaking bad habits are not easy and they can take months to get over! Getting off Facebook was such a challenge and accepting living in the now was really great! Last month I was able to spend time with my family and really be there presently.

As part of my monthly intentions, I wanted to try a new recipe! I baked over 3 dozen Pumpkin Snickerdoodles with my daughter lol! I don’t know why, but I did it and they were absolutely delicious. I used the recipe from the Domestic Rebel: https://thedomesticrebel.com/2016/08/17/the-best-soft-chewy-pumpkin-snickerdoodles/

I urge you to try them!IMG_20181006_114335.jpg

And finally, my last October Intention was to visit a Halloween Attraction! And guess where we went!? Dun… dun… dun… We went to the Pumpkin Patch! ha. However, most of the time was spent trying to convince Michelle to ride the pony, get down the slide, and other things. She did not want to do anything. Ultimately, the visit was brief.

 

NOVEMBER 

November brings a sense of gratitude for my loved ones and things I have. This month I believe that we (humans) like to remind ourselves to be grateful for the people around us and for what we have. While it is the month to give thanks I also have that same feeling during Valentine’s day when we “share love,” with others.

So why not make it a habit to be grateful all day every day!!

 

Now this month should be a great place to start because of all the feelings we get during the holidays! You know those warm thankful feelings… Right!?

pencil-918449_960_720

My November Intentions:

  1. Try to make it a habit to be grateful for one thing every day this month. Write it down and look over them at the end of the month!
  2. Set some free time for me to work and express myself creatively.
  3. Spend family time without any screens!

 

DSCN3637.JPG

 

If you are reading this I challenge you to try my 1st intention! If you want to share them with me you can send me a photo through Instagram or Twitter DM. Or, you can post them in the comments below!

As always!

Much love,

Zayra 🙂

 

Strength & Growth

Hello,

It’s been a while since I last posted and I shared a little update on my Instagram page. If you’ve been following me now for a while and read my posts you know that I’ve been trying to find the balance and ways to work on myself to be better. By “better,” I mean for myself and my daughter. And by that, I mean, breaking bad habits, finding anxiety relief, and just trying to find myself.

It’s been a daunting process and really it hasn’t been easy. It’s been a difficult road to self-discovery, self-love, and self-care. Finding myself true to my roots, without lying to myself about things. It really is something that is both exciting and frightening.

I’ve been becoming vocal about my needs for myself, and vocal about anything.

In the road to discovery, I have come across many difficult situations and decisions about where my life is and where my life is headed. It’s very easy to imagine yourself where you want to be at any given time of life. And if you’re like myself and don’t know this I am very much a planner for my life. (Side note: I’m a planner, but a very disorganized one). By all means, I play to the terms of life because I cannot control where my life is headed, but I like to think that my life is headed in a particular direction.

I like to always have a backup plan to literally anything that could go wrong and will go wrong. However, behind that mentality there I found one of my biggest anxiety triggers. Control. Not being to dictate where and what to do and when things went unplanned I found myself very anxious and frustrated by things not going as planned. Honestly, that there alone is my biggest most overwhelming bad habit. So, what should one do to get over that you ask? I don’t have the biggest reveal or shocking discovery in terms of discovering on how to break that habit other than… You guessed it! Changing your mentality on things like that. I was so busy at the moment when things didn’t go as planned that I didn’t know how to be literally there. I wasn’t enjoying the time I was living and just frustrated at things that are seemingly pointless.

Why focus on things that don’t matter and waste your time?

Okay, now let me share another thing I’ve been working on. If you’re friends with me on social media you’ll notice that I no longer am on Facebook!

Yes!!

Victory, here’s why…

I found myself every single day spending a lot of my time on Facebook, sometimes there wasn’t anything new so I would just keep refreshing my timeline looking for something new to pop-up. I would find every excuse to not delete it or deactivate it such as all my friends are on there, the only way I keep in touch with my family, sharing my photos, my old post memories, etc…

Can you believe it? I was holding onto memories from my virtual past. Things that I couldn’t physically touch, feel, hear, or smell. I didn’t think twice about it. At first, I was going to just deactivate it for a few weeks and I realized. Well, I don’t really need to because when I go back I’ll just fall into the bad habit of spending all my time on there for no reason.

                                Finally!

I’m here now. Writing. And guess what!? I have the most creative stories to tell. My mind feels less burdened with the need to be spending so much time on social media as I used too. And while it may seem very contradictive that I’m writing to you on the internet I want to say that. No, the internet is not a bad thing. For it has brought a lot of knowledge to many of us. Showed us many new things, and keeps us all connected through the words and stories we share.

However, the darker side to it is that if you’re like me. You just spend too much time not doing anything productive some days and I just wanted to get out of that bad habit. To actually do something productive and be able to share the things I do love with others. I hope you find my words both encouraging and entertaining because writing is what I love to do best and it has taken me so long to finally feel like I can write to share a story rather than to write and bullshit you about things I don’t really care about other than for the minute. So please! If you haven’t already! Follow me for more exciting stories or words from myself. I want to share so much more!

 

Now! Tell me what habits are you trying to break?

 

Much love.

Zayra 😊