Overcoming Fears

Hello!
I hope you’re doing well. I can’t believe that June is almost over, summer in SOCAL has been gloomy and honestly, nice. I guess I’m one of those people who thrives in cold weather or cool weather (INSERT SUNGLASSES EMOJI). Haha, just kidding, we are all cool.

So, anxiety has been manageable and luckily enough I really have been feeling great these days. I know I sound repetitive, but it’s a method I use to remind myself that all things in life are doable, manageable. About a year or two ago I remember being so stuck in this dark cloud and found no joy in anything. I was scared to even go out for a while and my anxiety would not let me live. This past month I gave myself doable intentions.

I kept reminding myself to LIVE and enjoy + embrace the things that came along. Sure, there are hundreds of reasons to panic, but I didn’t allow myself to fall victim to my own enemies. So here’s what I did.

I Learned to Swim

I’m one of those adult kids who never learned to swim. Scratch that, I’m one of those adult kids who is was afraid to swim in the water. Something so natural that should instantly kick into gear when you jump in a pool right? I can’t remember exactly when this fear began, but I was at least 13 years old and I really wanted to swim. I was just so afraid. I do remember that a lot of it had to do with my own insecurities and my anxiety telling me I couldn’t do it.

Here’s the thing though, it’s not true. If I truly believed in myself I knew I could over come this fear. And, I did.

As I visited my aunt who has a nice pool in her backyard this past weekend, I glanced over at her pool as I always did when I came to visit. It was as if the pool, the water called for me. Yet, every single time I found an excuse to not get in. Not this time. While part of me still said, “no you can’t swim.” The other half, logical, said, “get in, don’t think about it and just do it.”

I stepped in, feet first, “it’s so cold” I told myself. And then I went all in. I was still in the shallow part of the pool so I can stand up completely. I got used to the temperature and then I started thinking about all the videos and things I’ve read on how to swim. Head up, push myself off the ground, move my legs and arms. Before you know it, I was doing it. I was swimming. I was a little scared naturally, but I kept doing it until I was tired.

Honestly, I know I still need more practice, but I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Sure, it was just learning to swim, but there is such a larger and deeper meaning to all of this. I am at a place where I feel confident in myself. I know I can do things and I’m not afraid to do them. When I felt like I was sinking a little bit, I pushed myself up as I always do when something in life brings me down. This was simply a physical representation of how much of a better place I am at with myself.

I’m not afraid to be me, I’m not afraid of my insecurities. I am capable of anything, just as you and everyone else is. Life will always come with its overbearing, tiresome, and difficult times. Though we must all sought out the good in things. We must let ourselves live. And we may surprise ourselves with things we didn’t already know…..

XOXO,
Zayra

June 2019

HELLO JUNE!!!
How are you friends? Are you still there? It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote about something or have made something to share with the web. I’ve been a been under the weather. I was going through some crazy health issues and was really in a place that I hate to be in.

I relapsed. I let myself fall into that dark place. I let all the bad consume me whole. All of light turned grey and all of joy was lost. I started to feel the comfort behind it. I suddenly became a passenger to my anxiety, letting it take control of what I would do and how I would feel. Like an addict I didn’t feel life. I didn’t allow myself to live as I try to do.

But, I’m here, I’m back. I’m feeling better and I want to get to work on the things I love the most. I want to write. I want to inspire. And I want to cook all the food I can.

Hello Summer

I’m so glad that summer is arriving, while I don’t love the heat I do enjoy spending the day out, going on mini trips, having BBQ’s, and spend the time with my friends and family. While my budget is limited, I do want to have fun with my daughter. And most of all, I want to enjoy LIFE.

My June intentions are:

  • Exercise & EAT
  • Enjoy the outdoors [WALK, RUN, JUMP, BREATHE, GO TO THE BEACH]
  • Most of all LIVE, don’t allow anxiety to take over.
  • Take Lots of pictures!!!

And if you’ve read this far, you enjoy all of this too. I will write to you soon!!

XOXO
Zayra (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)